J Dust: Please people what do you think about calling your brother and sister in-laws by name or wives using ‘o’ for their husbands. Say you as a girl marry into a family and your sister in law is already married with kids, do u just use ‘o’ for her or ‘e’. Or say you as a guy have a sister in-law who is just older than u by few years. Do u call her ‘o’ or ‘e’.
Ronke: I still don’t get this part of our culture though. Why can’t I call my brother in law by name tori olohun (for God’s sake)?
J Dust: Cos you are the wife
Ronke: And being the wife makes me less human or what? I don’t get it
J Dust: Makes you put some respek on your in-laws, especially when they got married before you and even have kids
Ronke: What’s the big deal? Call by name if the person is younger and if the person is way older call by ‘e’ or kuku use English if you don’t want to stress your life with ‘e’.
Angelina: I use ‘e’ for everybody, especially when I’m not sure of your age. If I know your age and you’re younger I use ‘o’. Just form a nickname to call the person instead
J Dust: Thank you oh… One guy met me for the first time and just slammed ‘o’ on me and I was like… You don’t even know me…. Just give me that benefit of the doubt by using ‘e’ initially
TeeSala: Use ‘e’ and have peace of mind… It doesn’t make our less or bigger
J Dust: Thank you fa. This is my philosophy
Perez: Please what is ‘o’ and ‘e’? I don’t get. Because this not a Yoruba forum. Thanks and God bless
J Dust: Sorry… Yorubas use ‘e’ as a sign of respect when addressing someone…. and they use ‘o’ as a casual term. Just like French people use 2ndt person plural to address elderly ones and to show respect
Perez: I suspected….As you guys want to turn this place as Yoruba demons Forum. I refuse and resist it!
J Dust: Lol!
Ronke: So respect is when you use ‘e’?? You people are funny
J Dust: It is supposed to be… You don’t go to the court and address the Judge by his first name?
Don’t u use ‘Daddy’ for ur Pastor???
J Dust: By Tim Godfrey?
Ronke: But I don’t use ‘e’, which now support my point of going with the English language… We respect the Judge without E and Daddy is not E…
J Dust: If you spoke in Yoruba you would use ‘e’
Ronke: That’s why I say no Yoruba for the sake of peace
Ronke: I really dislike the ‘e’ sha cos in mind my I am an hypocrite… I am ‘Oing’ you in my mind and ‘Eing’ you outside
J Dust: That’s the point… You can’t be speaking English with your Yoruba in-laws OR in a Yoruba setting
Ronke: Why can’t I? I speak English more often just cause I don’t wanna stress myself
Titi: I do this all the time. Speak to me in Yoruba I’ll reply in English. I only speak Yoruba if that’s the only way I can communicate with the other person. So elder or not, in-law or not, I really don’t care
J Dust: Jagaban!!!
Ronke: O ma se oo (thank you!) And you can’t say you don’t understand English. Except you are my Mother in Law or Father in Law… Don’t be expecting ‘e’ from me by force. Ko le werk
J Dust: It is not by force. We are just saying just give it and go. It does not take anything from you. Some in-laws will tag you as disrespectful. You don’t want to go through all the unnecessary drama. It is not worth it
Ronke: I know. But truth is if I don’t give it, it won’t take anything from them. Samu ni (It is the same thing. Does it reduce my account balance and position at work?
J Dust: It will take a lot from you sha; your peace and unnecessary low key quarrels. Many are the afflictions of the in-laws. Try and reduce them in advance
Ronke: Can’t take my peace oo. Take peace cause of ‘e’??? Am I married to them? Are they paying my bills? We put so much importance on these in-laws and that where the problem starts from.
J Dust: Well… in-laws are part of the mix, like it or not.
Ronke: Naaahh! They are family, but they don’t have a say in my family, just as I don’t have a say in theirs. Why do you make them look like God tori olohun (for God’s sake).
J Dust: No they don’t have a say, but you don’t wanna have problems with your in-laws trust me…
Ronke: Problems with them take me out of life?
J Dust Wait a minute! Titi’s inlaws are Yorubas???
Titi: Nope they are not. I was about to point that out too
J Dust: Then u can’t talk here… Leave the matter for those of us with Yoruba in-laws?
Titi: Alase (nonsense)
J Dust: Niyin ma (You: second person plural). Note: I said Niyin. Lol!
Titi: You sef take your discussion out jor
J Dust: Eti binu (You are angry)… We cannot even play with u again?
Ronke: I hate it when my uncles wives calls me ‘e’. It makes me so uncomfortable and I always tell them not to.
J Dust: Now you see…. It is better they tell you not to call them and then u revert to ‘o’, than for you to call them ‘o’ upfront.
Ronke: See why I hate anything in-laws or family amebo. Its irritating
J Dust: Nobody does…. But that is reality my dear
Ronke: For you. Cause you have accepted the norm. This is me; no ‘e’. Come and take me out of my husband’s house na
J Dust: In-laws are part of your life.When you marry a man, you marry their family
Ronke: Yes. His family! I agree. But ‘e’ is not part of it. I will respect you oo. But don’t force ’e’on me
J Dust: I can sense you tensed up here @Ronke. Lol! This is my point. Is the whole strife worth it? Call ‘e’ and live in peace
Titi: Yorubas though, y’all never cease to amaze me. You people like stress
J Dust: You didn’t tell me you are now Ibibio
Titi: You haven’t heard ni.
J Dust: You know what I feel it is not worth it challenging these culture thingy… Have your own family and form your own culture…. For example bae cannot coman call my sister ‘e’ even my sister will tell her to stop.
Ronke: Now you are talking. My own culture is take life easily. E doesn’t carry you to heaven
J Dust: But you have to now respect the culture of your in-laws for peace’ sake
Titi: See, I don’t think Ronke is saying she won’t respect her in laws or their culture
J Dust: So calling them ‘o’ when they’d rather u called them ‘e’ is respectful?
Titi: But there’s no sense in calling someone that’s younger than you in all ramificatios (and you know it) ”e” or aunty. That’s not respect. That’s being extra. People that do that irritate me
Ronke: Ani respect will be there but don’t come and stress me if I don’t remember to use ‘e’ for you.
Titi: That’s how I went somewhere with my brother and his girlfriend. And the guy we went to see, told my brother in Yoruba that his girlfriend is rude just because she called me by name.
J Dust: Maybe it sounded dumb cos the girl is older than you… But imagine say you are older than the girl with say a year or less. She go hear am, not from you people but elders around.
Ronke: We get your point. It’s our culture though somehow faulty but we shouldn’t carry it on our heads. People that carry ‘e’ on their head don’t do well in the corporate world.. I can testify to this
J Dust: I use ‘e’ for my colleagues. I don’t think I am doing badly
J Dust: Remember the day Uncle Biyi came to your house and your Dad castigated you all for calling him ‘Biyi’. That is our culture people. Call him Biyi to his face and call me Brother Biyi when your Dad is around. Problem solved. That is the diplomacy I am talking about
Titi: Biko, times have changed. Most of my friends are at least 5 years older than I am. I don’t think I even have any friend who’s my mate. I’ll now be shouting e e e or aunty or bros or sista upandan. Waz dah
J Dust: Trust me I don’t care about the ‘e’ thingy too. A lot of my hommies are way younger than I am and they use ‘o’ for me. But the elders will see something bad about it. I say diplomacy is key. Seems we have activists in the house who are ready to challenge culture… Me I don’t have the energy. I just call ‘e’ and go
Angelina: I’m just here. Laughing really loud
Titi: My mum said she was best friends with someone and she used to call her sister. But times have changed, culture changes all the time.
J Dust: You see… My parents refer to themselves as ‘e’. Elderly people in my church refer to themselves as ‘e’. We had a new member who started calling people ‘o’, calling them by their first names. It sounded off. Just call address people as ‘sister’, ‘brother’, ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’ and go
Okizle: Let me tell RNT ladies something. It’s a part of Yoruba culture unless you’re not willing to marry a yoruba family or the yoruba family is “too woke” for that. If you like argue it but here’s the fact about marrying into a Yoruba family. Every female that is married in that family, or marries into that same family you are marrying into are your seniors, whether or not they are older than you Whether or not you accept it. And you are expected to accord such person the respect due. You don’t call such person by name. That’s what the Yoruba culture entails. Take it or leave it. That’s my own 2cents. Wisdom they say is profitable to direct. It doesn’t take anything from you.
Angelina: Loud eet! I just dinnur want to talk. Hubby’s elder brother just got married. His wife is older than me, but by tradition I’m a senior. So she’s supposed to address me as ‘e’. Instead we have a nickname for each other. That way nobody can hold anybody for anything
Okizle: That’s the way out. If members of such family have nicknames that isn’t frowned up. One can use the nick names to address such a person.
Angelina: My younger sis calls hubby Mr. M. All my friends call him Mr. M. If you call him by his name in my presence, I’m sorry I’ll call you to order. You don’t!
Okizle: Even among us men, we hardly call our older cousins by nick names in public gathering. When we men are within our circle the nick names can fly. I never call my older cousins by nick names in full public glare. It’s Respect.
Angelina: And I’m not even the older generation. I’m sorry, but that’s how I’m wired. If you can’t call hubby Mr. O. Then please move. I must not hear his first name from you. Even me I don’t call his first name except we’re in the middle of a heated argument which is rare. For men. It’s brother, or uncle or daddy
Okizle: Angelina has seen the light! She’s married and she should know. These things aren’t meant to belittle anybody. Yoruba culture teaches respect. And anybody that’s well cultured will understand these things well. It shows a person is well trained. It doesn’t only reflect your character it tells people about the family where you come from. Manners make a man. RNT ladies. It’s not a slight. If any of you won’t take any advice from me again in this life. Take that advice from me. Very important.
Angelina: The family you come from bruh! That’s when they’ll say you’re not properly raised. I learnt that yoruba people love respect, they can get satisfied with respect
Okizle: Oro abo l’a n so fun omoluabi (A word is enough for the wise)
Ronke: I just laughed out loud in the real sense of Lol for the first time this year
TeeSala: Some will rather die than take your advice sir. Okizle has sounded eet o… A word has always been enough for the wise.. Those who need paragraphs are otherwise
[3/31, 17:39] Titi: Wait, I’m sorry. I thought it was the other way round. She’s your husband’s elder brothers wife na. Abi? I’m confused sef
Okizle: Titi. Anybody thats married or marries into the family before you, is your senior. Even if you’re older than the person by age! So in this case, even as Angelina is younger than her sister-in-law, but Angelina married into the family earlier than her sister in law. Invariably culture and tradition dictates that Angelina is the Senior! It’s a lot to wrap your head around. Give it time.
Titi: Ohhh well, hopefully I won’t need to
Mide: Sigh, who has time for all these senrenre. Me I don’t want to even live anywhere near family so all these extended family won’t come into play. Let’s see once every two to five years.
J Dust: Please be realistic dear… They will come for your wedding… You will probably see them during the hols or special occasions
Mide: Special occasions are very far in between. I can’t remember the last time I saw my extended family.
Angelina: I’m Lowkey smiling here 😂😂😂
Ronke: Smiling is good for you Darling. Makes you look fresher
Angelina: Whatever ideas you build up in your head, be careful to cross-check it with God’s word. Selah. Goodbye everyone.