Perez: Why is it that women easily forgive their husbands for infidelity but men find it difficult? Or, why do we explain it away or expect women to forgive their husbands for sexual immorality, but with the woman, it’s a different case? Can someone explain to me please, I don’t gerrit!!!
Olaronke: Me sef I don’t know. Our mothers may have a perfect reason cause, ko really yemi (I don’t understand)
Titi: I had an argument with my colleagues on this recently. So two of them were discussing (both guys). One says his body count is 5 or some number above 3 sha. The other is surprised at first, but then he says, “for a guy that’s okay sha”. I didn’t say anything o. I was calmly minding my business in my corner. Only for the same person, in the same breath to say; if a girl’s body count is more than two she’s a whore. I don’t think I’ve been angry that much in my life. I only remember flying out of my seat and talking at the top of my voice
Olaronke: Oshey, defender of the universe
Titi: About how that is nonsense, and how it is nothing more than double standard. They didn’t understand why I was so pissed
Olaronke: I never hesperedit
Cynthia: I’m blaming “tradition” or do I say societal belief on this one. The polygamous nature of our fathers (the more the wives, the more the respect) is largely responsible for why a guy would think it is okay for him to have a million body counts but not a lady. It leaves me wondering, if you have knacked more than one woman but expect a woman to not have more than one body count, how are you okay? I mean if you didn’t marry her after knacking and someone else marries her, is that not two for her already?
Olaronke: Great analysis, as you are knacking one, someone is knacking your own too
Titi: And these boys went ahead to explain in a very crude manner the difference. That for a girl, something is entering her, unlike a guy. She’s the one that will become pregnant unlike a guy. I still don’t know how that made sense to them.
Olaronke: Emmm, are these guys educated?? Cause their shallow explanation is bothering me
Titi: They said I should keep forming feminist, that it’s the way society is. That’s the norm
Cynthia: I knew it. Their backup would be societal norms
Titi: And I was like, the norm starts with you and I. We are the ones that make up the society. It’s your opinion. Don’t make it okay for the male gender to get away with fornication and adultery, and suddenly think it’s not okay for the female. That’s absolute rubbish. How can someone who has a body count of 5 come and tell me that because I’ve had more than 2 I’m spoilt goods. Are you mad ni? Gosh I was so pissed. And they said ehn why didn’t the girl keep her legs closed. And I asked why the guy can’t keep his pants zipped as well.
I went ahead to ask whether they think we ladies don’t go through temptation too. Kai… don’t let me get riled up jare. People like that is what is wrong with our society. They preach “keep your legs closed to the girl child” and forget to tell the male child that he shouldn’t pressure the girl for sex as well. And it’s those same people that will tell the wife of a cheating man that it’s the man’s nature and scream at the husband of a cheating wife to crucify her. I’m not an advocate for premarital sex or adultery, but don’t you dare tell me about something being good for the men and being a taboo for women. If you think two is the minimum your girl should have. Then please you better not pass that two yourself. And if you want a virgin you better be a virgin yourself. And if you think it’s okay to cheat and be forgiven. Please do remember that woman body no be firewood, so be ready to forgive her as well
TeeSala: Titi is angry…
Olaronke: No be small
TeeSala: I like when people believe they can change the world…. My dear you can’t. It’s Tradition, it’s society.
Mide: Traditions can be changed
Titi: What the smurf. You people should stop saying this rubbish
Mide: Lol calm down tee, things like this I just ignore you can’t change or make people be sensible.
TeeSala: Can you please pick your words if you want a conversation? Mide, Titi?
Mide: Lol I was talking about the guys she mentioned. The only thing I said in reference to what you said was that traditions can be changed. Simple
Titi: Don’t even joke with this nonsense. It’s not funny. Not one bit. I know you are trying to just make me more pissed but stop. It’s not funny. Things like this shouldn’t be said. Even as a joke
Okizle: Can you like calm down and choose your words more carefully? You’re pissed perhaps not to type while you’re angry?
Mide: Yes it not a joke but just chill.
Titi: Nope. I can’t
Okizle: Tooor sorry fa.
Olaronke: Lols. Y’all should take cold water. But Teesala I think you should have picked your words carefully before saying them this would probably have helped Titi pick hers as well.
TeeSala: Sips Coke… Biko what was in my words o?
Olaronke: I think what you said is more like justifying what is wrong. Society or no society, it is wrong and should not be condoned especially by a believer
Angelina: Waaawwwuuuuuu. Such heated conversation. Titi I feel your pain and I know how it hurts. We can’t even start with what the girl child has been made to believe. However, I don’t think heated arguments like this would be the solution to this
TeeSala: Not heated jor… We have had hotter ones…
Angelina: I know someone who married a Virgin with no body count! The husband had some body count, but he chose to stay celibate even before he met her because he knew better. He was educated better. You can’t want a Virgin as a wife and be forming Yoruba demon all over the street. Karma is a stewpid smurf. Do men cheat? Yes, they Do. Is it right? No, it’s not. Would I leave my husband if I find out he’s cheating on me? No, I wouldn’t. Does that mean I support his actions? No, it doesn’t. I have other wars babes. God help me I have kids then
Toun: Doesn’t the bible justify divorce after infidelity?
Olaronke: Emmm, I’m sorry oo but Angelina I think our mothers did the same thing and our fathers didn’t learn because they believe their wives would never leave. Same mentality men of this generation have as well. I am not supporting one should leave one’s husband but I am just here thinking, if we all decide to leave because they cheated and the next girl won’t accept him because he cheated as well, maybe just maybe, we might make a difference. It’s all about women deciding to stand against a wrong. But then, it must be a universal agreement cause some girls will still allow a married man cheat with them. The problem starts and ends with girls at the end of the day
Angelina: No double standards. What am I going to do different? I believe in change starting from our own nuclear family. If my female child can’t go clubbing then my male child also can’t. I can’t impose on the society or tradition but I can raise an entirely different generation. A generation that would change the way tradition would be viewed. Oh well! Sex is one part! There’s like 99 other parts to the 100% of marriage. I wouldn’t throw the baby away with the bath water.
Olaronke: To me, this is another justification of a wrong but then, what do I know? I am not married yet
Angelina: Do you think they didn’t learn? Where did women of old fight their battles? In family meetings ehn? I fight mine on my knees because God is the controller of the hearts of men! Babes, if you leave, another woman will move in
Olaronke: Make sense, fight on your knees
Angelina: If your husband has not told you to leave and he’s not abusing you physically and emotionally! Please! Stay! Hope you know some women are waiting for you to leave so they can step in. When you get married, you’ll find out some people you hold dear to you, should actually be kept at arms length
Olaronke: I don’t need to be married to know this fact though. Life has taught me that already
J Dust: Can’t believe I have missed all these. I’m late for the party 😤😤😤
Titi: As usual
(J Dust finds out about the gist so far and shares his very random thoughts)
J Dust: I hate it when non – virgins expect to marry virgins. That is hypocrisy. Can you imagine a story I heard? A guy told himself that any girl that he can seduce to sleep with him, he won’t marry her. Can you imagine the wickedness? So, he hooked up with this lady that has been keeping herself and she was in her thirties, but had to give in to that mans sexual pressures cos she was already desperate to get married. The stupid man now dumped her cos he claimed she allowed him sleep with her. Some guys are just so selfish and wicked.
On the flip side, there are guys who are virgins and are being persecuted for refusing to marry a girl cos she is not a virgin. Same logic; you have kept yourself, you feel it is unfair to get someone who has gone round the world and now is cooling down for Jesus and forming hail Mary cos she wants to marry
Olaronke: Same same
J Dust: My point is… Don’t categorize anybody as self righteous because they refuse to marry non-virgins especially if they have been virgins themselves. Haters will say I have come again
Olaronke: J Dust will come and give summary as usual
J Dust: Yeah yeah Lol!!! Ehen sister Titi dont vex. Someone (not me) once said; a guy is a key; a lady is a door. I think going by the anatomy of the genitals I find this statement accurate. Ehen so the person said; any door that any key can open is a bad door, but any key that can open any door is a master key. It sounds off but that is the bitter truth
TeeSala: How is this guy our Admin???
J Dust: It is the Lords doing and it is marvelous in our sight
TeeSala: This is more than marvelous.
J Dust: Ladies keep your legs closed… If the key cannot open your door, they will go somewhere else. Same thing… The girl child should close their legs and the guy will automatically zip up. Period!!
Titi: Uncle, please can you pick a struggle.
J Dust: I am not struggling. Lol!
Titi: For or against? Stand somewhere abeg. Stop running from pillar to post
J Dust: I am on the side of truth… Ladies; it starts from dating. He cheats on you while dating, you don’t wanna leave cos you feel you have invested so much. In marriage, it becomes worse. If you didn’t leave during dating he knows you can’t leave in marriage hence he keeps cheating. Ladies take your stand and teach these men a lesson
Toun: J Dust does this all the time, trying to stay on both sides.
J Dust: Side of truth plix. If you are saying the truth I am on your side.
(CAVEAT: These are real, random discussions by young Christians. However, they should not be taken as a maxim for Christian living. The Bible is and will continue to be the standard for Christian living)